Oct 23, 2013

life made me do this.

This might be a bit interesting.

A close friend of mine who is 25, (same as me; pinky pals), is in deep sh*t.
Her family has started to hunt for a 'perfect' groom for her and they're running around the matrimony sites with vengeance and a space to fill. She is sad and almost blackmailed into looking the perfect-matches up herself. She toils every evening on the websites herself and if finds a guy remotely a 'good-match', immediately informs her dad. Her dad re-checks it, and contacts them if he finds it okay.
She never enjoyed it in the beginning, until she started to find funny things on the sites. She is a hardcore feminist and an atheist, just that she happens to belong to a very traditional mallu Christian family, who have steadfast rules and have reputations to keep (don't get me wrong, all others have reputations, but these guys value social status a wee bit more, is what she tells me).

Anyway, I once accidentally barged over her desktops while she was on her 'job'. I pitied her situation with a smirk to which she added that this job might come to me soon, which I cannot deny. It just might; wait, I think I already heard some talks. Anyways.

I checked her profile she has created for herself on these famous matrimony sites. She has put up pictures of her face, full length, shoulder length et al and also has pretty honestly wrote about herself in the columns to fill. She writes that she wants a quote 'Simple and honest man who is respectful to the better half'. That's it.

Messages and interests come to you from 'grooms hunting for a wife', you can send them messages and interests, and if they like you, they'll call you up and move forth. Vice Versa too.
Now, she tells me that, that day she has got three new messages in her inbox. We check those as curiosity reaches the brim.

A few men have decided to send their interest to marrying my friend and they have requested her feedback to proceed or not. My friend is a very rational and grounded person. She never judges a book by its cover. She has pretty dandy good looks too. In our gang of three, she steals the show, me being the ugly duckling.

So she clicks each of their profiles to have a better view of them, because from their photos nothing looked interesting. As we read through each of them, we get a whiff of chauvinism in each of their words. And I understand real sad that, most men still want a wife, not a friend. I was thoroughly appalled at the audacity some men have to be demanding a good looking, slim wife when he himself looks like a 60 year old man with a pot belly. What was that belly, extra dowry or a baby already?

Man, come on!

So, I took down her id and password, and with her permission, bring out some real hilarious 'partner preferences' mentioned by some 'most-wanted' grooms out there.
I have some screenshots of certain bizarre, obnoxious, ridiculous, patriarchal, chauvinist sentences from some grooms from these sites, with the permission from my friend of course. Let's have a look and laugh. It's better if I type them out here to avoid privacy claims and further nonsense, and you have to believe me, I wont change a word from there.
I am also going to give you a description of how these men look and boast about themselves as well. Sometimes, men also need their share of dosage of what they give women. It is once in a while nice to know what a woman endures just for her looks. 

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for how someone else functions, or their brains and their thoughts. 
I haven't changed one word from any of the below three sentences. Also, as an average girl, I can differentiate a good-looking person from someone's who is NOT.

Number 1) The most awesome I have come across.
Good looking, slim, well educated from reputed Institutes, from reputed families who is well employed. Should have very good family values and god fearing

The guy looks like an exploding pig who claims to be of age 29, which I highly doubt. Why I bash up this overgrown foetus is because of his hypocrisy. If he wanted this good-looking, slim girl to be his partner, he should himself be of that kind. He should take an effort to be so as well. He IS NOT good-looking (whatever that is) neither is he slim. Shouldn't he practice what he preaches? And this fixation with reputation and good institutes; dude, not all are born with silver spoons in their mouth. The relation of reputation with good institutes is an idea that still evades me.
Godfearing. Another term which gives me the creeps. Is godfearing an a trait with which you differentiate good-looking and not? Being godfearing gave you the right to classify a girl by the looks and reputation and not by the person she might be, is it? Oh, I forgot, god works that way isn't it?

Number 2) A very tragic one
wanting a beautiful girl who love me and trust

are you from some other planet dude? Oh, he is 40 by the way. The audacity to send an interest to a girl half his age. If you fall in love outside, by knowing the girl personally, then understandable as to why you got hooked to a small girl. But sending a request for marriage for someone who could call you uncle, give me a break, let me break your neck. Would you yourself marry someone THAT older than yourself?

Number 3) An obnoxious one, almost an essay.
I would like someone fair, slim and  beautiful by looks. If she could cook it's even better. I like her to be god-fearing and traditional with modern outlook. Please don't send any interest if you aren't a Catholic*. We'd like no requests from communists, we hate them. This match is mandatory. We belong to an aristocratic Christian family from Trivandrum. 

The rest, I don't want to Copy + paste.

Hate, hate communists, yes you read it right. Hate. One really had to use that word huh? Shows exactly which class we can push them in. Sure douche, god must have taught you hatred huh? To say, this man is highly educated, from well-to-do family and filthy rich, explains the arrogance. Education need not guarantee morality. And top it off, they want a Catholic match; match to what, a hell?

There are funnier ones; which are absolutely, even more ridonculous. Suffices to say that it pays to being a woman. None of the above three are good-looking to demand good looking brides. I am not judging someone on the basis of looks, but every second of my life as a girl I have been judged by looks and here my friend too, is being judged by the looks in her picture up in the matrimony site. My dear men, before you want a fair, slim woman to screw around as a wife ask yourself, are you fair and slim? Before you say you want a good-looking woman to cover up your early baldness, would you marry a bald woman yourself? Before you demand she better cook, do you cook also? PRACTICE YOUR EFFING PREACHMENT. 

You know what is unfair? Your brain is. 


order less said...

Just for the sake of having fun and to challenge that my mom put forward which was "No one would marry you with just a B.Sc degree." I registered on this world of online matrimony.
The girls/women that were "eligible" for me demanded that I should hold a high paying job, own a car or two, should have visited abroad/ have such a prospect in the immediate future/ should settle there, preferably the US or UK. No mention of being loving/honest etc.
All this from girls/women who were 10th or 12th passed.
To top that some wanted their future partner to look like some TV serial actor, while others were sufficed with him being muscular.
And guess what, age was no bar in many cases.

The sickening mentality exists on both sides. I get scolded upon for treating men and women on equal footings in such discussions.
Most women on the matrimonial sites are gold diggers, and most men want a trophy wife. Most.
The former makes extraordinary demands on the basis of her looks, the latter on the basis of his money.
Eventually both succumbing to extra marital affairs.

~AND_ said...


I dont disagree, at all.