Nov 26, 2013

getting back up

Life wasn't nice to me lately. There were problems at work, diseases hounding in on me, people had begun to become shady and annoying, the world was not making sense at all and I was pushed into all of it, at once.
There were occasions when all I wanted to do was run away from the maddening crowd and vexing world into a safe zone, home, a hearth and absorb and endorse silence. 

My never- ending chest congestion was taking a toll on my appetite, I began eating erroneously, not eating at all sometimes, stopped going to swim or jog which I used to swear by before, I stopped music in my life, stopped traveling, quit reading and tore a few precious books in utter rage at myself. I began distancing from my own folks who I value the most, although they never let me go. The brain truly was crazy working up there. Nothing was helping me and I desperately wanted to end that phase. That phase truly sucked. There were no interventions or escapades. I just had to deal with it.

But one day my view on this changed. Toppled over. And that too, the eye opener was no human. It was a stray dog. I had a pack of Parle-G in my bag when I was driving that day and I stopped at a traffic signal towards a corner of the road. everyone switched off their vehicles and waited. There were two dogs on the footpath, near my side, one with no hind-legs, suffering the pain, a sad female and the other a puppy, around may be 2 months of age, probably its own, that crouched right next to it. Brown beautiful dogs. Both looked really hungry and dispossessed. The little dog raised it's nose and looked at me, eyes full of dismay when it sensed that I was looking at them. I remembered my parle G for an instance and opened my bag to it. Sensing the sound of food, the pup strutted close by as I laid a biscuit on the ground for it to fetch. Only when it came close did I realize that it had a clean film of glaucoma over it's eyeballs and naturally had come close to be only with the smell of food around me. There were 30 seconds left on the counter of the signal. The pup, to my surprise did not gobble up the biscuit, instead, cupping it in its mouth, runs back and drops it in front of its crippled mother. After dropping it, the little thing comes back to me again with visionless- hungry eyes, a wagging tail and the eagerness for food. I decided that I give the entire packet to it. As though in utter gratefulness, it bows its head, sniffs the packet and takes it to its mother, again for her. Not just that I teared in the corners of my eyes, but also a pang in my heart. 

The dogs instead of enjoying their bounty and gobbling the food down, snuggled at each other and licked each other as though their presence was valuable than a day's meal. The food wasn't important for them, I think, their love towards each other was.
And then I realized, its better to do those things I truely enjoy in life than curse life at what it throws at me. 

If I don't do what I have to do, even if it is for self, who else is going to do it? 

I then buckled back up in no time, began taking things positive. So what if I have a chest issue? Why give my heart and soul to it when it is NOT a priority? Which means I can take leave off work, go home and be closer to parents, share my love with them, read books, travel a bit may be, swim/ jog in my convenience and eat healthy, good food. 

My work can wait. And even though it is my passion, I can utilize this recusal to improve myself there; read journals and articles, watch movies that intrigue me, learn some language or play with a pet.

Trust me, I did just that. It works because you have a proof from me as well ; The book I published. Achieve what you have to, let no state of the body force you otherwise. 

Julie, the brown pretty dog who comes by home everyday, and waits for that love.
What animals teach!

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