Wander Bay

അച്ഛമ്മേ ... എന്തിനാ എന്നെ വിട്ടു പോയത്? എന്നെ ഇഷ്ടമല്ലായിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? എനിക്ക് അച്ച്ചമ്മയോടുള്ള  ഇഷടം കുറഞ്ഞു പോയി എന്ന് തോന്നിത്തുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? അവസാനങ്ങൾ അടുത്തപ്പോൾ ഞാൻ ഇല്ലായിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞതല്ലേ ഞാൻ ഉടനെ വരുമെന്ന്? വന്നു കാണുമെന്ന്? പകുതി ബോധവുമായി കിടക്കുമ്പോൾ അച്ഛമ്മക്ക്‌ ഞാൻ നെറ്റിമേൽ തന്ന ഒരു പിടി ഉമ്മകൾ സാക്ഷി; എനിക്ക് തരാൻ സ്നേഹം മാത്രം ബാക്കി...... അച്ഛമ്മ ഉള്ളത് കൊണ്ട് മാത്രം ഞാൻ സ്നേഹിക്കപ്പെട്ടവളായി.  എനിക്ക് കൊതി തോന്നുന്നതെല്ലാം ഞാൻ കഴിച്ചു... ഞാൻ കരയുമ്പോൾ, എന്റെ കരച്ചിൽ കണ്ട് വിഷമം തോന്നി കരയുന്ന ഒരാളേ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നുള്ളൂ, അച്ഛമ്മ. എന്റെ  കണ്ണീർ തുടച്ചു തന്ന് മുഖം കഴുകി തരുമ്പോൾ,  എത്ര മ്രുദുവായവ എന്ന് ഞാൻ ആശ്ച്ചര്യപ്പെടാറുള്ള അച്ഛമ്മയുടെ കൈവെള്ള ഒരിക്കൽ കൂടി കൈയിലെടുത്തു മുഖം അമർത്തി കരയണം എനിക്ക്. കരഞ്ഞു തീർക്കണം എനിക്ക്. എന്റെ കൈ പിടിച്ചു ഡാൻസ് ക്ലാസ്സിലേക്ക് എന്നെ കൊണ്ടുപോയിരുന്ന അച്ഛമ്മ. എന്റെ പല്ല് പറിചപ്പോൾ വേദന കൊണ്ട് പുളഞ്ഞ എനിക്ക് ഐസ് ക്രീം വാങ്ങി തന്ന എന്റെ അച്ഛമ്മ. ഞാൻ സ്കൂൾ വിട്ടു വരുന്നതും കാത്ത് എന്തെങ്കിലും പലഹാ...

Let's just say, I have been someone who never believed in the word called love. Don't get me wrong, as the manifestations of love and its forms are multiple, and that I know and reckon that -- like the love between a daughter and her parents, the love that exists between two sisters or siblings, friends and relatives and the like. But although all that, I wasn't still sure of the love between a man and a woman that the advertising companies exploit so much and feed on, that the deo, greeting card, diamond, cake companies, archies and 'you name it' thrive on. It was an absurdity to me - falling in love with a man; a man who I can proudly call mine. And myself, his. As many around me, committed and bonded, spoke of their better halves in pink words or as I saw, PDAs in full throttle on roads and parks, I had still no hopes whatsoever, that my better half did exist. And sooner, may be violins did start sounding in the background, along with saxophones as sta...

Life wasn't nice to me lately. There were problems at work, diseases hounding in on me, people had begun to become shady and annoying, the world was not making sense at all and I was pushed into all of it, at once. There were occasions when all I wanted to do was run away from the maddening crowd and vexing world into a safe zone, home, a hearth and absorb and endorse silence.  My never- ending chest congestion was taking a toll on my appetite, I began eating erroneously, not eating at all sometimes, stopped going to swim or jog which I used to swear by before, I stopped music in my life, stopped traveling, quit reading and tore a few precious books in utter rage at myself. I began distancing from my own folks who I value the most, although they never let me go. The brain truly was crazy working up there. Nothing was helping me and I desperately wanted to end that phase. That phase truly sucked. There were no interventions or escapades. I just had to deal with it. But one day...

Tripped Images. Again, makes absolute sense why journeys are special. thank nature for the sun, sand, sea, beach and vacations! Chai and the express double decker train A splendid Bodhi beach Sandwich at Bodhi Beach Cafe. Cozy place and great food. Awesome tea I must add. Cafe Xtasi has the BEST BEST Pizza and really reasonably priced menu. Omnomnom.

Usually in the race of life and for it, we step over and keep aside our personal lives for more money and acceptance in society. We overlook and take a few people for granted. Mostly those we take granted for are our immediate family- the ones who don't judge us for what we are, the ones who accept us the way we are, the ones who are never sick and tired of our antics and the ones who cannot stay away from us for a long time! Mom, dear Mom, you have been my best 3 am friend till date and I owe you big for that. I can never thank you enough for the life and confidence you gave me. I wish and pray that I be born around you every birth I take! Your values that taught me to empathetic and sympathize with fellow beings have only done me good. I am sure to be keeping in mind your goodness and prosperity wherever I am! How much I owe you! From here From Here

Why did you leave me just like that? I wanted to meet you, see you and learn your Love. You were just there but now so you are gone; I wished I saw you breathing and alive. Just as my fingers tap my collarbones, And I keep wishing that the moments came back when your love treaded time and tide, seeping into lives and touched ‘em with your warm soul. Your smile and your strength that drove all of us, But just withered like pollens into the air; yet I’m hopeful for the days later where your passion blooms into golden sunflowers. The way you wrote; I was mesmerized Your pains went unnoticed: the world is faulty I feel nice reading through your words, suffused with swollen memories; sure guilty. Bestow on me oh lovable, the air you carried, I’m just a meager awed at your stoic and strength; I feel my heart pounding in your memory, And the pang of loss that brings me to agony.

Vignesh was the perfect friend I would have ever had. He had small sweet eyes that smiled alongside his lips, and that was a sense of reassurance of faith. His hands were always cold for warm Cochin days. Even from far off I could recognize him with his ears that stuck out, in a very cute way. Vignesh and I were never Best of best friends, we were made to sit on the same small bench by our class teacher, that’s all. But then, I had loathed her for that decision of her’s then, but now I know why; I was destined to be his first and last friend. Like I said, I hated sitting next to him because he used to regularly have nosebleeds and throw up blood. As a kid of class II, I wasn’t scared of blood at that time (surprisingly, now I am), nor was I irritated by his behavior but just that he was a little odd. He never went in anybody’s group, most importantly, he never had any friends. He would sit alone at a corner and smile occasionally at his classmates passionately which were met with...