Wander Bay

അച്ഛമ്മേ ... എന്തിനാ എന്നെ വിട്ടു പോയത്? എന്നെ ഇഷ്ടമല്ലായിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? എനിക്ക് അച്ച്ചമ്മയോടുള്ള  ഇഷടം കുറഞ്ഞു പോയി എന്ന് തോന്നിത്തുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? അവസാനങ്ങൾ അടുത്തപ്പോൾ ഞാൻ ഇല്ലായിരുന്നു അല്ലെ? ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞതല്ലേ ഞാൻ ഉടനെ വരുമെന്ന്? വന്നു കാണുമെന്ന്? പകുതി ബോധവുമായി കിടക്കുമ്പോൾ അച്ഛമ്മക്ക്‌ ഞാൻ നെറ്റിമേൽ തന്ന ഒരു പിടി ഉമ്മകൾ സാക്ഷി; എനിക്ക് തരാൻ സ്നേഹം മാത്രം ബാക്കി...... അച്ഛമ്മ ഉള്ളത് കൊണ്ട് മാത്രം ഞാൻ സ്നേഹിക്കപ്പെട്ടവളായി.  എനിക്ക് കൊതി തോന്നുന്നതെല്ലാം ഞാൻ കഴിച്ചു... ഞാൻ കരയുമ്പോൾ, എന്റെ കരച്ചിൽ കണ്ട് വിഷമം തോന്നി കരയുന്ന ഒരാളേ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നുള്ളൂ, അച്ഛമ്മ. എന്റെ  കണ്ണീർ തുടച്ചു തന്ന് മുഖം കഴുകി തരുമ്പോൾ,  എത്ര മ്രുദുവായവ എന്ന് ഞാൻ ആശ്ച്ചര്യപ്പെടാറുള്ള അച്ഛമ്മയുടെ കൈവെള്ള ഒരിക്കൽ കൂടി കൈയിലെടുത്തു മുഖം അമർത്തി കരയണം എനിക്ക്. കരഞ്ഞു തീർക്കണം എനിക്ക്. എന്റെ കൈ പിടിച്ചു ഡാൻസ് ക്ലാസ്സിലേക്ക് എന്നെ കൊണ്ടുപോയിരുന്ന അച്ഛമ്മ. എന്റെ പല്ല് പറിചപ്പോൾ വേദന കൊണ്ട് പുളഞ്ഞ എനിക്ക് ഐസ് ക്രീം വാങ്ങി തന്ന എന്റെ അച്ഛമ്മ. ഞാൻ സ്കൂൾ വിട്ടു വരുന്നതും കാത്ത് എന്തെങ്കിലും പലഹാ...

How much I miss you, every day! I know you are smiling there!

I wish I could update something happy, but people leave happiness behind too, amidst the tears, as they leave this earth. Don't we love what they teach us and the memories like fresh paint? Rest in Peace. Achacha, I have never ever written a letter to you ever before. But now, I want to. It might be late, but I know you'll forgive me for that. I want you to know that you are always going to be there in my memories, etched for ever. You were an integral part of my childhood and life after that, as you guarded me, accompanying me to my music class and tuitions, buying me chocolates on demand, enlightening me with your experience in the boiler room of a ship and giving me a wonderful lesson on patience. You gave no one any trouble until now and I have always wondered how you managed to get the physical strength you had until the age of 93.  Hard labour. Tough childhood. Strong hands. Rough seas and a Sweet tooth. Easy End. Lucky man. Although physically I will miss ...

Let's just say, I have been someone who never believed in the word called love. Don't get me wrong, as the manifestations of love and its forms are multiple, and that I know and reckon that -- like the love between a daughter and her parents, the love that exists between two sisters or siblings, friends and relatives and the like. But although all that, I wasn't still sure of the love between a man and a woman that the advertising companies exploit so much and feed on, that the deo, greeting card, diamond, cake companies, archies and 'you name it' thrive on. It was an absurdity to me - falling in love with a man; a man who I can proudly call mine. And myself, his. As many around me, committed and bonded, spoke of their better halves in pink words or as I saw, PDAs in full throttle on roads and parks, I had still no hopes whatsoever, that my better half did exist. And sooner, may be violins did start sounding in the background, along with saxophones as sta...

Fancy That! A close friend ( confidante, critique and soul-mate )  very recently gifted me with a pack of bookmarks; colorful plastic rulers with little hands that stand out. Giving a feeling of 'shout-out' from a page of a book if kept in. How apt! They were gifted to me as a belated birthday gift but I'd say, I have always wanted such an awesome set of fancy bookmarks ever since I laid my eyes on 'em!  The pack has four colors; yellow, orange, light-blue and purple. I have obviously picked up the yellow to start it off and I intend to use all of them simultaneously. Needy I say! thanks darling, for these lovely 'read-me' signs, you make me ' isssmile'. Have a great Wednesday!

Usually in the race of life and for it, we step over and keep aside our personal lives for more money and acceptance in society. We overlook and take a few people for granted. Mostly those we take granted for are our immediate family- the ones who don't judge us for what we are, the ones who accept us the way we are, the ones who are never sick and tired of our antics and the ones who cannot stay away from us for a long time! Mom, dear Mom, you have been my best 3 am friend till date and I owe you big for that. I can never thank you enough for the life and confidence you gave me. I wish and pray that I be born around you every birth I take! Your values that taught me to empathetic and sympathize with fellow beings have only done me good. I am sure to be keeping in mind your goodness and prosperity wherever I am! How much I owe you! From here From Here